Strike two

Strike one… Wharton… strike two… Chicago! I shudder to consider what would happen at strike three!
With the denial from Wharton, my backup plans were put into action. The groundwork was done and the action plan was firmed up with concrete actions. However, deep within, I was always hoping that I will not need the backup plan.

The Chicago reject came as a major shock for me. Wharton, being an old boy school, was expected to be tough. It was the dream school that one applies to, has hope and is willing to slog it out for it. But, Chicago is a more down to earth school. It doesn’t have that aura around it. Yet, it is a Highly ranked school. In fact, in some of the ratings, it is rated as the numero uno. A lot of that is related to the fact that the school has an highly adaptable curriculum taught by one of the most renowned faculty. The student can adapt the curriculum to suit his/her needs.

Despite all of this, I expected that this was one school that was comparatively easy for me. I know this may sound naïve. However, I am not calling it my safe school. For, I had no school that could be branded unless my father was on the board of one of the schools! J A brief glance at the schools will show that the schools are within the top ten and the best in my field of innate interest: finance.

What I meant was that Chicago was comparatively an easier picking compared to a few of the others that I had in mind. That was a perception that I had at the start of the application at least. As the application progressed and I did more extensive research, I realized that it was not as easy as it appeared to be. Yet, I thought that I had put in a good application that was in line with what I believed was a winning application.

But, alas! That was not meant to be. What probably hurt the most was the manner in which the communication came across. A revisit to the Wharton rejection: there was a mail saying that unfortunately, they could not accommodate me for the batch of 2009. They talked about how they had a lot of applicants and that they had to unfortunately reject quite a few and that it was not a reflection on the person or on his/her abilities. While, the words still meant that a dream was shattered, it did it in a nice manner and with a sincere attempt to soften the blow. I believe that they realized that have probably crushed a dream. As much as they are not responsible for this (the application package was not good enough), they seem to find it their moral responsibility to break it as nicely as possible.

In this perspective, Chicago turned out to be a start opposite. I had a mail to check my status on the Chicago home. Apprehensive that I was, I logged on. My hands were shivering as I keyed in the username and password. Wharton had been a big blow. Even though I was positive and expecting things to work out, it was not difficult to be psyched out.

The look on my face probably told a story. The owner of the cyber café where I was logged on had come to become a good friend. He asked what the matter was. I told him that it was a matter of life and death for me. He didn’t seem to understand. He asked whether it was an interview. I replied ‘kinda’. And he went, ‘Hey! An interview is not a matter of life and death… You win some, you lose some… got to move on buddy…’ If only the poor ignoramus knew for how long I had been waiting for this and how much this meant for me.

Ignoring social and family commitments at time, I had bull-headedly attempted to achieve the dream that I have been pursuing since the year 2003. A lot of water has flowed below the Tower Bridge since then. The dream has also undergone a sea of change. But the crux of the dream continues to remain the same. At the end of the day, the same Nfyniti Solutions that was in my mind in the 2003 drives me to this crazy attempt in 2007. It sounds crazy to an oblivious bystander. It sounds crazy to somebody who may not care to look closely, maybe crazy for someone who cares to as well. Nevertheless, for those who do know and understand me, it is something that has become synonymous with me. Something that I have lived, dreamt, slept, ate, and drank. Waiting patiently for my opportunity to come, yet attempting to push open the door if there is even an iota of chance that seems available. A lot of people have walked the path with me. Some have given up, some taken what they thought the best for them while some of the others have chosen to wait for a while.

I chose to keep trying. The bar kept going higher. However, I believe that I have now reached the point where the bar cannot probably go all that higher. Which is precisely the reason that this is important for me. A lot of things have been kept on hold to pursue this single dream. A dream that I am unlikely to give up that easily, even if it means that I have to doggedly attempt again.

Yet, the positive that I am, I was hoping that 2007 it would be. Speaking in numerology, it’s the year of the 9. I have never believed in numerology. But it is difficult to ignore the obviously overwhelming presence of the number 9 in various facets of my life.

It’s been two down and three to go. As mother puts it plainly, ‘Have the patience my boy! Things will work out!’ As much my heart wants to echo her thoughts, its tough. Yet we wait… wait patiently for glory to come our way. For we have done what we could. The only thing that is left now is for me to wait and watch, pray and pray some more.

The wait continues… :)