Full Time MBA Batch of 2009. NYU Stern School of Business. This is my tryst with an MBA.


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Reality

Reality check...
Ding at The ONE! Four to go! What on earth do I do now?
You knew it was the toughest... it had to be. For it was the best that you could hope, aim and attempt for. For there was no better. They dont make them any better.

With one down and four others to go, I am suddenly aware of the ground realities.
The ground reality that there is a teeny weeny chance of not striking gold in the first attempt.Yes, there are four more. That counts to a remainder of 90% positivity (10% is always the minimum default, come what may).

I have always contemplated what I would do in case there is a situation in which I am stuck with 10% positivity. Yes... it is a posibility... and I HAVE(being what I am...) to cover all the possible corners. The four visible corners... and the fifth one that I need to keep track of in order to not fall onto my face with scars with an inability to get up to save my life. The fifth corner is the backup plan.

The 'I will do this when everything else fails...' plan that has to be there. Within minutes of the despair of the ding, I was thinking...long and hard.
There are two visible options available. The first one was offered to me. It was a total change of profile. Opinion however is divided on whether it is a step in the positive direction or not. The official reason was that it was something that they (the bosses) believe that I will be good at (modesty aside, no doubts here...), be someplace where my interests lie (not bulls-eye, but pretty close...) and something which will be good for my growth and my career (the real grey area...). An area of interest without doubt. However, it is not exactly there. It is like wishing to move from the country-side to stay downtown and having to settle for the suburbs. But, the option is the best that is currently there on offer. Probably something that I believe that I should do. Something that quite a few people believe that I should do. Nevertheless, a few clarifications have to be sought.

But the thing that I am gunning for...the one that I am rooting, hoping and praying for... is something that is very much out of the box. It hasn't been done at my office before... and is something that will be a huge victory in more ways than one. Without getting into the details, I can say that it is something that will have a lot of people giving me mean looks... looks because I have managed to achieve the seemingly impossible. Something that most thought was not possible. I am not aware if there are others in the race. What I do know is that I am a very serious contender.

I spoke a friend with whom I share a symbiotic relationship of a mentor and a guide. Even before I had asked about my chances, my friend said that I was a STRONG contender. There was so much emphasis on these words that even I was taken by surprise. The discussion helped me firm up my opinion and boost my confidence. The words were very encouraging...I double checked with my contacts within the firm for the opportunities that were available...so that i was prepared with my homework when I had an opportunity to place the pitch. It also helped me double check my ideas and get a perspective.

I had a discussion with the powers that be. Discussed both the options available and strongly hinted on what was there on my mind. The thing that I really wanted. All this without spoiling my chances with the lesser favored option. The response was on expected lines. Since it was a first, it was met with skepticism. Nevertheless, it was not disregarded right away. I pride myself with the ability to read between the lines... and sometimes read outside as well. There was a positive response. A response that it COULD be possible. At the same time, the accepted rules of engagement were discussed. It was stated that it was not the accepted path... yet the idea and the thoughts behind it were appreciated. I read the person to be genuine.

It is now upto me to take this to the next level. The powers that be have a lot of things on their mind. And in that process, an idea... a seemingly difficult approach need not be on the top of their mind. The onus is now on me.

The path ahead is going to be turbulent. I foresee that. I don't fear that. For, no uncharted territory is a piece of cake. It is not meant to be. The lesser frequent paths are the ones that are the tough ones. And that is what makes it all the more challenging... All the more appealing. The easy things in life do not have the charm.

An oft repeated line to end: It's easy to swim with the tide... it is that much more difficult to swim against it... And it is this swim that is more rewarding and satiating.

I know I may not need all or any of this. There is no need to be freaked out based on one ding. But, the point is that I dont like surprises in life... atleast not the unpleasant ones!

So...here I am... On the road again!

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Bell rang ding!

My first ding!
As i started reading the letter, I was full of hope and expectations that it would work out!
While I refuse to zero onto a first choice, denying that Wharton was not in the contention would be insane!

But, as i read the words unfortunately and regret, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck!

It was the first result and hence it shattered me! Shattered me because the feeling slowly sunk in that I was definitely not going to Wharton...

The feeling has not still sunk in... but I still see the full picture as far as PA is concerned! That is one place that I am not going...

Not that I have lost hope or something. Not that its the end or something!
I live on hope. it is the single most important thing that has kept me going through thick and thin... and it will keep me going!

I stare in the face of rejection
I choose not to blink
I choose to shrug it off
I choose to walk on

Walk to the next level
learn from what has been
for whatever may happen
its a matter of time

I will attempt to achieve my dream, come what may
I will stick with them, come what may
I will not be bogged down, come what may
I will not lose hope, come what may

Get up

God forbid that it happens!
But if you do happen to fall, you need to get up, brush it off and start running again!
Life is a wonderful race and there isn't a moment to lose!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Do not judge

Dont judge a person by his pleas!
It just that he/she wants it real bad! Has been waiting for it for a while!
And will do what it takes to get to where he/she dreams!

When there is a chance that the dreams might not turn into reality, there is a tendency to be edgy.

Optimism and confidence dont mean that you stop thinking!
If you stop thinking, you cease to have a backup plan!
You cease to want it bad enough!
Your dream ceases to exist in reality!

We are humans after all...not super human or cyborgs!

Dont lose hope

I hang in there... it aint over till its over.

You dont fall until you fall!

There is a lot of time to go...just hang in there...

Lose all that you have...just dont lose hope.

And even if its a queue at MacDonalds where they have suddenly stopped serving fries, have a backup plan!

Sorry if I sound preachy... I just want to say 'Dont lose HOPE'!

Painful wait

There are a few hours to go for Wharton!
And there is still no response come! It is an agonizingly painful wait!
Will they or wont they!
Why will they not?
Ofcourse they will!

God give this to me...
Please dont play games with me...Please!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Not long to go

Wharton is not long to go!
Feb 15th is the last day for their interview calls...

There have been few times that I have never felt this helpless before in life.
God! Please give me the strength to get through this.
God! Please give me the able to emerge victorious.
God! Please give the adcom the reasons that are needed.
God! Please make the adcom see what I see.
God! Please make me see myself there!

Anxiety

Its been a while...and the nerves are beginning to show...as much as i try to remain cool, the thoughts are in my mind...psyching me out!

A lot of people have received their calls...I do not have a SINGLE interview call as of now...and that is enough to psyche the wits out of the strongest of persons!

But, there is precious little that I can do other than wait...
I check my e-mails daily.
I check my status daily.
I say my prayers daily.

I dont have much to do...so I wait...wait in HOPE!
For that is all that I have...that is what is keeping me going!