A whole circle

Life has come a whole circle around. My last post was about an interview. This one is about one too. The previous one was a good one.

Somewhere in between
 I was admitted to NYU Stern!
 I quit my job!
 I flew to the US!
 I stood around in circles!
 I went through the recruiting!
 I did not slept!
 I drank a lot!
 I connected well with people!
 I got my a** kicked at a few banks!
 I prayed to make it to yet another event!
 I heaved a sigh of relief when i was invited!
 I screamed with joy when I got my first invite!
 I was content with the invites that I had!
 I spent sleepless nights for the exams!
 I partied 14 hours on the trot after the exams!
 I took a couple of days off!
 I started studying for interviews!
 I did my first MBA1 mock!

That is briefly what I did... will try and fill you up with a background as I try to start getting this blog alive again!

Today was the first MBA1 mock that I did. I may be later than a few. I am earlier than most. It was a guy in my group. Wanting to set the tone for the interview, I acted as the interviewer.

- Tell me your story!
- Questions on the story and grilling on possible loopholes!
- Grilling on why MBA and Stern!
- Grilling on why not the other school in the city!
- Why not asset management?
- Why not consulting?
- Do you have an experience working in global environments?
- Do you think you will fit in within ACME Inc.?
- What are you strenghts?
- What are you weaknesses?
- Why should I hire someone like you, when I could hire a 20 guys who are just as good if not better?
- Why ACME Inc.?
- Where else are you recruiting with?
- What if another firm offers you more money?
- Rapid fire round of 6 questions (Yes/No) on ethics, integrity etc

I had decided to act as an a**-hole. The intent was that if I did so, I would be preparing him and myself for interviews such as these. There is a misconception that Investment Bankers are a*-*holes. If you have met all the people that I have, you would think otherwise too. A dear friend often tells me that I am too good a person to be a banker. I tell her that she is sadly mistaken!

It was good to see that he took it really well. He answered decently, but faultered a lot as well. Initial blues.

He liked the approach. He found it interesting as it was exactly like an actual interview. So smiles and no brownies. I asked he do the same for me.

We started off well. The story went off as usual. He asked questions on the same lines. He didnt seem to like a few of the things that I said. Need to work on them. He also said that I was too long winded and need to be succinct. He cut me short at many questions to unsettle me. I did well at that.

It was nice to do the mock. Shows us where we stand and shows us where we need to work. Also, I may have a few things in my head. But to word them correctly and succinctly is the key.

I take this as the reference for all interviews.

On the right track...
Yet way to go Jack!

Stern Interview

At the scheduled time, Ms. ABC ushered me inside the meeting room. She was a beautiful tall American woman with a wonderful smile. The smile was instrumental in calming the initial nerves.

She invited me to sit so that we could both begin. She began by speaking a bit about herself. She then talked about how on having read the application, the Stern admissions committee was keen on talking to me in order to learn more about me. This was the reason that the two of us were having the discussion here in Mumbai. So far so good…

I was aware that unlike most of the other business schools, NYU Stern interviewers have complete access to the entire application file. A lot of this has to do with the fact that a senior member of the admissions committee is the person conducting the interviews. In this case, I believe it was one of the Executive Director of the Admissions committee. Nevertheless, I was amazed with the level of understanding and thoroughness of the interviewer in knowing and analyzing my application.

With the initial small discussion, we began the interview.

* You have mentioned in your application that you graduated from Goa University. Is
this the same Goa… (well read application #1)
-- You needed to seen the grin on my face as it lit up hearing this. It was a great way to break the ice. I told her that it was indeed the fabled Goa, the land of sun, sand, and sea that I hailed from. I mentioned how I had studied there all my life, before moving in search of my dreams. She asked whether I missed being out there. I shrugged and told her that one had to do what he/she had to do. I told her how had it not been for the lack of opportunity, I would not have left. However, there were no opportunities in the space that my eyes set were on. I asked her if she herself had been to Goa. She replied in the negative. She said that she had been to Delhi before and visited the Taj Mahal. Due to her grueling schedule, she would not be able to visit Goa, although it was something she wished to do… I exhorted her to visit Goa at the first possible opportunity.

Max: + 2 points

* I see that you have worked with ABC and are now working with PQR. There seems to be a logical flow between what you want to do and what you currently are.
(well read application #2)
So can you tell me a bit more about the reasons that you chose to leave your job with ABC.
-- I explained the reasons behind the same and she seemed satisfied. She mentioned that sounded good. There was a smile of approval.

Max: +1 point

* You believe that it was the right step that you took?
-- Yes! I told her how it had worked in the right direction. There was another approval.

* So you mentioned that you chose to join a startup
(well read application #3)
You were one of the early birds. Why did you make the choice?
-- I explained the reasons behind my decision. I told her the absolute truth. There were no negatives, in fact a heap of positives for the old as well as for the new firm. She seemed to appreciate that. However, she was non-committal at this point.

By this time, the initial jitters, if any, had long disappeared. I was listening very intently to what she was saying. I was looking into her eyes. This is extremely important because:
- You need to let her know that you are confident.
- You need to let her know that you are listening and are attentive.
- You need to make her feel comfortable.
- She needs to know that she has your complete undivided attention
- She needs to see your communication skills

I kept a calm and composed (and yet enthusiastic) voice. I found myself using many hand gestures as I put my point across to her. This was in fact a sign for me that I felt calm and confident. This tends to have a cascading effect and in turn, helps me perform better. The going was good at this point. I was feeling confident and that is the single most important factor in an interview.
Firm believer of the power of confidence here…

* You said that there were many challenges that you faced because of having joined the startup arm of an MNC.
-- I talked about having synergies, each person getting something new to the table and how it was difficult to bring all of this together in a small cohesive unit. We have since grown into a big organization. However, it was important to have patience in those early days. Although we are a huge MNC, there are always the pains of the initial hiccups. Despite all of this, we brought it all together and made it happen. We had an opportunity to formulate the work culture, the ethos, and the team spirit. We attempted to do the best we could to ensure that we married the US culture of the firm with the Indian ethos to arrive at something that was within the boundaries of the firm and yet catered to the Indian sensibilities.

* Is there any specific challenge that you would like to discuss?
-- I was totally zapped with this question. It was not that I was exaggerating or speaking something that was untrue. It was merely that at that moment, I was unable to recollect a sensible and meaningful answer to this one. I bought some time for myself by asking her to repeat the question. In the meanwhile, I scanned before my eyes the entire experience. It was probably the only time that I realized that I was not paying complete attention to what she was saying. The horrendous taste of the brewed coffee from the vending machines, our irritation with the lackadaisical attitude of a few support staff (who polluted the atmosphere around with their arrogance and negativity) or our complaints against the transport policy were neither serious nor appropriate to the occasion.
Eureka! Just when it was looking like I would not have anything to say, I recollected it. I almost wanted to stop her from speak it and blurt it out, lest I forget it. But I managed to hold the trigger until she stopped. I talked of our tirade against a few of the finance policies and the problems on a general level. Due to company policies governing issues such as these, I chose to keep them out of the purview of the interview. And out of the purview of this blog…
Max: +1 point – Getting out of a tricky situation
Max: +2 points – Respecting confidentiality agreements
Max: -0.5 points - Initial Confusion, jittery and confusion


* How has your experience been working with teams? What is the single most strength that you bring to a team? How will you use that in your stint with the NYU?
-- I talked about growing from a small team of 2 to a much bigger team now. I talked about how it was important to work in a team and the ethos of our own team. I mentioned that I was grateful to my team that has helped me grow as a person.
The single most important strength that I bring to a team is my communication skills (she better have seen them there) and my ability to work with diverse individuals with relative ease.
This then worked towards how I would bring this to a synergy at NYU as well.

There were a couple more questions. But I believe by this time, I was fairly confident that this was going to be a hit. I smiled, laughed, cracked jokes and kept the conversation lively and jovial.

At the end, I asked her about specific clubs such as the Emerging Markets Association, the Stern Private Equity Club and the Graduate Finance Association. We also spoke about student life in general.

There were a couple of specific questions about the admissions process, the financial aid process and the VISA process.

At the end, I got up, thanked her for taking the time to come all the way to India, wished her a pleasant stay ahead and exited from the interview. Contrary to popular view, I did not lean on my knees and kiss her on her hand (A couple of over-zealous friends seemed to believe so!)

I left believing that I was going to achieve my dream of spending my New Year at the Times Square! :)

Interview Scheduled

Dear Mr. Max,

The Admissions Committee has reviewed your application and is pleased to invite you to interview.The interview gives us the chance to get to know you better and is an important part of our decision making process. It also gives you the opportunity to ask any questions you have about our program and to experience our community firsthand.

Thank you for your continued interest in NYU Stern, and we look forward to meeting you in person.

Sincerely,
XYZ
Director,
MBA Admissions and Financial Aid

Woohoo... Its time to interview! Time for me to know them better and for them to see what a great person I am ;) hehehe

Scheduled for
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Taj Mahal Palace & Tower- Business Center
Apollo Bunder, Colaba, Mumbai

Time for me to get that charm working. Never dinged at an interview... Don't intend to ding at this one! This is HUGE! :)

Sterned

Dear Mr. Max,

Congratulations! We are very pleased to offer you admission to the NYU Stern MBA Class of 2009. The Stern admissions process is highly competitive, and we congratulate you on this achievement.

Very pleased damn right!!! You cannot imagine how pleased I am! I’ve had a head-rush and I am flying high in the sky… grinning ear to ear… incoherent thoughts… extreme emotions… ecstatic and euphoric!
This is how it feels! Psychedelic lights, karmic sounds and the feeling of being lighter than sky itself. All thanks to one word. This is how it feels to be Sterned!

Third Time Lucky?

The wait started long back. It suffered a few setbacks (two to be precise). Hope was not lost. Backup plans put in place. Frantic attempts made to firm them up. This may have included calls with people at weird (read 0300 IST) hours of the night, discussions with people on a jet lag and visiting people at their homes to firm up the options and discuss the future as a whole. Overdrive was what was needed and that is what happened. Deep within, the prayers continued for the third one to be a homerun. For I wanted to know what fourth base (no pun intended) felt like.

Having waited for what felt like an eternity, it can be extremely frustrating at times to be so near and yet so far. Although I am of the belief that I had winner applications (as did most if not all of the people who reviewed them for me), the news from PA and IL made me think otherwise. Guess that it was the case of good but not good enough.

Finally, it was time. It was time for the do-or-die situation. After two strikes, it was important to see the light of day. It was important not to merely see the stars, far away in the sky, out of reach and blinking at me mischievously. They mocked me that they were merely in sight and not in reach. Things were getting a bit tense. Obviously, it was not a situation that I appreciated. Alas, I found myself in one. I had to make the choice: I could wilt under the pressure and fail. I could stand strong and fight it back. I wanted to fight back. That seemed like the logical (and obvious) thing to do. However, after having fought for the last few years, I found myself wilting. The knees were wobbly and I was petrified that I would cave. I was not sure that I could hold on for much longer. I consoled myself for being in the state that I found myself. In my defense, I could not blame myself for it. I was human too. I too was prone to assuming and accepting defeat long before it had raised its ugly hood and painted the town black.

The pitcher took his place. It would not have been difficult to mistake him for a three-headed fire-spewing evil dragon. Looking around at the other bases, he had one final look at the striker, and took what felt like ages before he pitched the ball. The scene had all the makings of a Hindi potboiler. The journey of the ball from the hands of the pitcher until it reached the striker was as vividly captured as the journey of a bullet after it has been fired and before it is to come within striking distance of the victim.

Each of the previous deliveries had been different. UPenn - Wharton was a long letter from the dean of the school expressing his sincere regret. Chicago was short and curt with a single word: deny. This particular response had come within an e-mail. My fingers were shivering… again. The co-efficient of the shivering is directly proportional to the rejects that one has received and is inversely proportional to the interviews/admits that one has on his/her plate. It is also proportional to the amount of effort that has gone into it, the time in years for which the plan has brewed, and the desperation with which it is wanted. Expectedly, my hands were indeed shivering very badly. I carefully picked the laptop from my lap and placed it circumspectly on the desk. Such was the level of the shivering that I was scared that I might drop it to the ground. I am not kidding here. It was late into the night and I was understandably petrified. For a second, I almost did not have the guts to see it. I wanted to leave it for another day. Yet, I knew that I had to face the demons and stare them in the eye. Believe me, it is a whole of words. It was easier said than done.

From the subject line and from the name of the sender, I realized that it was a response from NYU Stern. This one school was different; it was different in a pleasantly beautiful way. They spoke of the NYU community and the benefits of NYC. I saw all of them (the benefits) and more. That was the reasons that this was one of the schools that I was looking to make home.

Like I have mentioned before, I had applied to a grand total of five princely schools. Each of the schools were such that I would not think twice before accepting an offer from the school. The only problem in the decision-making process would arise if and when there would be more than a single admit and it would be up to me to decide on the then future course of action. Going by the current statistics, I would be more than overjoyed with having an opportunity to go at all! Let alone the option of having to choose from more than one.

Now, what the email had was a link to a URL on the NYU Stern website. I started my prayers. I have never been a devout person, but at this time, I could have done with whatever help I would get, divine or otherwise. In a frame of mind that was hopeful for the best, yet resigned to fate and ready for the worst, I went about finding out the details of the result. I logged into the site and went about figuring out how I could get the result.

I reached the final step. Involuntarily and subconsciously, I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. If there was ever a good task I had done, I was calling the IOUs. With a heavy sigh, I clicked the link. I waited anxiously for the page to load. Slowly and steady, I began reading each and every word of what the email had to say.

Dear Max:

There has been an update to the status of your application to the NYU Stern MBA program. To view the current status of your application, please visit the Application Status Check Website at http://applicant.stern.nyu.edu/statuscheck/
As a reminder, your password is ******.

Thank you for your continued interest in Stern,

NYU Stern MBA Admissions

My heart skipped a beat and more as I read the line that I had been short-listed for the And then, I was dancing like there was no tomorrow!!! I had made it to the next phase! I had been short-listed! I was going to the interview! I suddenly felt a vacuum in my heart as I realized what happened. I had been invited to an interview! There was a chance. I was another step closer towards the ultimate dream! For a whole minute or so, I did not know what had hit me. I didn’t realize that I had indeed made it to the next level.

I guess that it took a while for the entire feeling to sink in. It took a while to realize that this is what I wanted. I was not there. But I was getting there. And that was good enough. It was a matter of time is what I was telling myself. It was merely a matter of time.

Until date, I have never screwed up at an interview. I have had the distinction of having returned victorious from every interview that I have attended. I have not attended a whole lot many of them. Nevertheless, I have attended pretty many for the MBA admission process, the IIM and the AIM interviews. I have also attended a couple of job interviews and I have not had to attend more than that as that is also the number of jobs that I have had.

The point of the matter is that I have successfully cleared the first hurdle. The next hurdle is in sight and it is obviously a challenge. But I am up to it. The third response was a positive one. It gives me hope and a future. It has started well. It is just a matter of time before I realize whether the third time was indeed lucky!

Strike two

Strike one… Wharton… strike two… Chicago! I shudder to consider what would happen at strike three!
With the denial from Wharton, my backup plans were put into action. The groundwork was done and the action plan was firmed up with concrete actions. However, deep within, I was always hoping that I will not need the backup plan.

The Chicago reject came as a major shock for me. Wharton, being an old boy school, was expected to be tough. It was the dream school that one applies to, has hope and is willing to slog it out for it. But, Chicago is a more down to earth school. It doesn’t have that aura around it. Yet, it is a Highly ranked school. In fact, in some of the ratings, it is rated as the numero uno. A lot of that is related to the fact that the school has an highly adaptable curriculum taught by one of the most renowned faculty. The student can adapt the curriculum to suit his/her needs.

Despite all of this, I expected that this was one school that was comparatively easy for me. I know this may sound naïve. However, I am not calling it my safe school. For, I had no school that could be branded unless my father was on the board of one of the schools! J A brief glance at the schools will show that the schools are within the top ten and the best in my field of innate interest: finance.

What I meant was that Chicago was comparatively an easier picking compared to a few of the others that I had in mind. That was a perception that I had at the start of the application at least. As the application progressed and I did more extensive research, I realized that it was not as easy as it appeared to be. Yet, I thought that I had put in a good application that was in line with what I believed was a winning application.

But, alas! That was not meant to be. What probably hurt the most was the manner in which the communication came across. A revisit to the Wharton rejection: there was a mail saying that unfortunately, they could not accommodate me for the batch of 2009. They talked about how they had a lot of applicants and that they had to unfortunately reject quite a few and that it was not a reflection on the person or on his/her abilities. While, the words still meant that a dream was shattered, it did it in a nice manner and with a sincere attempt to soften the blow. I believe that they realized that have probably crushed a dream. As much as they are not responsible for this (the application package was not good enough), they seem to find it their moral responsibility to break it as nicely as possible.

In this perspective, Chicago turned out to be a start opposite. I had a mail to check my status on the Chicago home. Apprehensive that I was, I logged on. My hands were shivering as I keyed in the username and password. Wharton had been a big blow. Even though I was positive and expecting things to work out, it was not difficult to be psyched out.

The look on my face probably told a story. The owner of the cyber café where I was logged on had come to become a good friend. He asked what the matter was. I told him that it was a matter of life and death for me. He didn’t seem to understand. He asked whether it was an interview. I replied ‘kinda’. And he went, ‘Hey! An interview is not a matter of life and death… You win some, you lose some… got to move on buddy…’ If only the poor ignoramus knew for how long I had been waiting for this and how much this meant for me.

Ignoring social and family commitments at time, I had bull-headedly attempted to achieve the dream that I have been pursuing since the year 2003. A lot of water has flowed below the Tower Bridge since then. The dream has also undergone a sea of change. But the crux of the dream continues to remain the same. At the end of the day, the same Nfyniti Solutions that was in my mind in the 2003 drives me to this crazy attempt in 2007. It sounds crazy to an oblivious bystander. It sounds crazy to somebody who may not care to look closely, maybe crazy for someone who cares to as well. Nevertheless, for those who do know and understand me, it is something that has become synonymous with me. Something that I have lived, dreamt, slept, ate, and drank. Waiting patiently for my opportunity to come, yet attempting to push open the door if there is even an iota of chance that seems available. A lot of people have walked the path with me. Some have given up, some taken what they thought the best for them while some of the others have chosen to wait for a while.

I chose to keep trying. The bar kept going higher. However, I believe that I have now reached the point where the bar cannot probably go all that higher. Which is precisely the reason that this is important for me. A lot of things have been kept on hold to pursue this single dream. A dream that I am unlikely to give up that easily, even if it means that I have to doggedly attempt again.

Yet, the positive that I am, I was hoping that 2007 it would be. Speaking in numerology, it’s the year of the 9. I have never believed in numerology. But it is difficult to ignore the obviously overwhelming presence of the number 9 in various facets of my life.

It’s been two down and three to go. As mother puts it plainly, ‘Have the patience my boy! Things will work out!’ As much my heart wants to echo her thoughts, its tough. Yet we wait… wait patiently for glory to come our way. For we have done what we could. The only thing that is left now is for me to wait and watch, pray and pray some more.

The wait continues… :)

Reality

Reality check...
Ding at The ONE! Four to go! What on earth do I do now?
You knew it was the toughest... it had to be. For it was the best that you could hope, aim and attempt for. For there was no better. They dont make them any better.

With one down and four others to go, I am suddenly aware of the ground realities.
The ground reality that there is a teeny weeny chance of not striking gold in the first attempt.Yes, there are four more. That counts to a remainder of 90% positivity (10% is always the minimum default, come what may).

I have always contemplated what I would do in case there is a situation in which I am stuck with 10% positivity. Yes... it is a posibility... and I HAVE(being what I am...) to cover all the possible corners. The four visible corners... and the fifth one that I need to keep track of in order to not fall onto my face with scars with an inability to get up to save my life. The fifth corner is the backup plan.

The 'I will do this when everything else fails...' plan that has to be there. Within minutes of the despair of the ding, I was thinking...long and hard.
There are two visible options available. The first one was offered to me. It was a total change of profile. Opinion however is divided on whether it is a step in the positive direction or not. The official reason was that it was something that they (the bosses) believe that I will be good at (modesty aside, no doubts here...), be someplace where my interests lie (not bulls-eye, but pretty close...) and something which will be good for my growth and my career (the real grey area...). An area of interest without doubt. However, it is not exactly there. It is like wishing to move from the country-side to stay downtown and having to settle for the suburbs. But, the option is the best that is currently there on offer. Probably something that I believe that I should do. Something that quite a few people believe that I should do. Nevertheless, a few clarifications have to be sought.

But the thing that I am gunning for...the one that I am rooting, hoping and praying for... is something that is very much out of the box. It hasn't been done at my office before... and is something that will be a huge victory in more ways than one. Without getting into the details, I can say that it is something that will have a lot of people giving me mean looks... looks because I have managed to achieve the seemingly impossible. Something that most thought was not possible. I am not aware if there are others in the race. What I do know is that I am a very serious contender.

I spoke a friend with whom I share a symbiotic relationship of a mentor and a guide. Even before I had asked about my chances, my friend said that I was a STRONG contender. There was so much emphasis on these words that even I was taken by surprise. The discussion helped me firm up my opinion and boost my confidence. The words were very encouraging...I double checked with my contacts within the firm for the opportunities that were available...so that i was prepared with my homework when I had an opportunity to place the pitch. It also helped me double check my ideas and get a perspective.

I had a discussion with the powers that be. Discussed both the options available and strongly hinted on what was there on my mind. The thing that I really wanted. All this without spoiling my chances with the lesser favored option. The response was on expected lines. Since it was a first, it was met with skepticism. Nevertheless, it was not disregarded right away. I pride myself with the ability to read between the lines... and sometimes read outside as well. There was a positive response. A response that it COULD be possible. At the same time, the accepted rules of engagement were discussed. It was stated that it was not the accepted path... yet the idea and the thoughts behind it were appreciated. I read the person to be genuine.

It is now upto me to take this to the next level. The powers that be have a lot of things on their mind. And in that process, an idea... a seemingly difficult approach need not be on the top of their mind. The onus is now on me.

The path ahead is going to be turbulent. I foresee that. I don't fear that. For, no uncharted territory is a piece of cake. It is not meant to be. The lesser frequent paths are the ones that are the tough ones. And that is what makes it all the more challenging... All the more appealing. The easy things in life do not have the charm.

An oft repeated line to end: It's easy to swim with the tide... it is that much more difficult to swim against it... And it is this swim that is more rewarding and satiating.

I know I may not need all or any of this. There is no need to be freaked out based on one ding. But, the point is that I dont like surprises in life... atleast not the unpleasant ones!

So...here I am... On the road again!

The Bell rang ding!

My first ding!
As i started reading the letter, I was full of hope and expectations that it would work out!
While I refuse to zero onto a first choice, denying that Wharton was not in the contention would be insane!

But, as i read the words unfortunately and regret, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck!

It was the first result and hence it shattered me! Shattered me because the feeling slowly sunk in that I was definitely not going to Wharton...

The feeling has not still sunk in... but I still see the full picture as far as PA is concerned! That is one place that I am not going...

Not that I have lost hope or something. Not that its the end or something!
I live on hope. it is the single most important thing that has kept me going through thick and thin... and it will keep me going!

I stare in the face of rejection
I choose not to blink
I choose to shrug it off
I choose to walk on

Walk to the next level
learn from what has been
for whatever may happen
its a matter of time

I will attempt to achieve my dream, come what may
I will stick with them, come what may
I will not be bogged down, come what may
I will not lose hope, come what may

Get up

God forbid that it happens!
But if you do happen to fall, you need to get up, brush it off and start running again!
Life is a wonderful race and there isn't a moment to lose!

Do not judge

Dont judge a person by his pleas!
It just that he/she wants it real bad! Has been waiting for it for a while!
And will do what it takes to get to where he/she dreams!

When there is a chance that the dreams might not turn into reality, there is a tendency to be edgy.

Optimism and confidence dont mean that you stop thinking!
If you stop thinking, you cease to have a backup plan!
You cease to want it bad enough!
Your dream ceases to exist in reality!

We are humans after all...not super human or cyborgs!

Dont lose hope

I hang in there... it aint over till its over.

You dont fall until you fall!

There is a lot of time to go...just hang in there...

Lose all that you have...just dont lose hope.

And even if its a queue at MacDonalds where they have suddenly stopped serving fries, have a backup plan!

Sorry if I sound preachy... I just want to say 'Dont lose HOPE'!

Painful wait

There are a few hours to go for Wharton!
And there is still no response come! It is an agonizingly painful wait!
Will they or wont they!
Why will they not?
Ofcourse they will!

God give this to me...
Please dont play games with me...Please!

Not long to go

Wharton is not long to go!
Feb 15th is the last day for their interview calls...

There have been few times that I have never felt this helpless before in life.
God! Please give me the strength to get through this.
God! Please give me the able to emerge victorious.
God! Please give the adcom the reasons that are needed.
God! Please make the adcom see what I see.
God! Please make me see myself there!

Anxiety

Its been a while...and the nerves are beginning to show...as much as i try to remain cool, the thoughts are in my mind...psyching me out!

A lot of people have received their calls...I do not have a SINGLE interview call as of now...and that is enough to psyche the wits out of the strongest of persons!

But, there is precious little that I can do other than wait...
I check my e-mails daily.
I check my status daily.
I say my prayers daily.

I dont have much to do...so I wait...wait in HOPE!
For that is all that I have...that is what is keeping me going!

Sinking

The feeling is slowly sinking in...
and it is being replaced by the thoughts of what if...
Reading through tons of blog material, I come across story after story of rejections, denials and sad faces.
Even the most optimist of people like me can be jittered into feeling a bit ackward when I think of the future!
Not bothered about the effort that has been put in.
Bothered instead about whether I will be headed on the path of my dream!

The dream is far! but the path, that is not!
I have to start walking on it if I wish to reach the destination!

Damn! Phase III has already started!
And I am loving it! :D

Freedom

The sweet sense of freedom!
The freedom to get back to normal!

It all started in the month of May! Yeah May!
I was in the US of A visiting the wonderful city of New York! God Bless the Big Apple!
Suddenly, in a moment, I decided that I wanted to do my MBA in America.
Until then, I too was chasing the CAT dream!
I belled the CAT, got the IIM (Indian Institute of Management)! But, alas! I did not get the IIM of my choice!

Dogged that I am, I decided that I will play hard! Winner or none! I decided to re-appear.

But fate had other plans for me.
Back from the US, I started perparing in the month of July! Studied, answered tests, studied and answered tests again! That was the routine for a few days!
Days became nights and nights became days as the preparation was in full swing.

A few days before the D-Day, I took stock of the situation. At 690, I wasnt going anywhere! Definitely to the schools that I sought! I decided to buckle up! Its easy to pressurize yourselves when you know how badly you want it!

Social life was reduced to a minimum! Poor friends of my bore with my idiosyncracies, changing their schedules and accomodating me so that we could spend time together!

The day was great! The Quant section went well and I had no problems there! I was left with less time at the end though and I had to HURRY!!!
Verbal was turning out to bit of a tougher cookie to crack! All went well... never before score of 750!

Applications meant research, research meant time and time meant incommunicado Max!
The essays had to turn right! Some of them went to SO MUCH of revision that I cannot believe the number of versions that I am left with!

At the end of the entire process! I am DONE! Relieved and a weak smile on my face!
I guess that I can have a good nights sleep and rest in peace for a few days!

Things to do
-- Get life back in order
-- Meet friends
-- Party like there is no tomorrow
-- Go trekking
-- Run the Mumbai Marathon
-- Clean the house
-- Continue Jogging 8 rounds
-- Party more
-- Travel
-- Read
-- Blog
-- Live Life
-- Work (Yeah!)
-- Get pending things done!!!


Enjoy the moment and live the glory!

The end of R2

Today officially marks the completion of R2!!!
I submitted Stern today!
Although there wasn't much left to be done, It was a sigh of relief when it was submitted!

I feel relieved in more ways than one!
I guess that I can finally breathe easy!



Njoi the moment and savour the feeling!
Phase II is officially complete!
Time to rejoice!

But that marks the beginning of Phase III.
This will involve the gift of the gab and the extruciating wait for the result!
The use of the F5 key and the long wait for success! (XX - crossed fingers!)

For now! yahoo!!!!

Almost there

All done and ready to go!
The button needs to be pushed!
I have forwarded the essays to a few friends for reviews. Some have reverted back. Some are yet to get back to me. I don't foresee anything major happening between now and the submit button.
The recommendations are also in place.
Its the end of a long journey. And the journey seems to be coming to an end.

Its just a matter of hours now...its just a matter of hours!

Clamor to finish

Its suddenly a clamour to finish it all.
All in place and yet things to do!
As usual, things have to be perfect and as a result of this, i will review and get them reviewed!
and submit i will tomorrow!
And that will be the end of the third phase of the application!
The first was a mix of research and GMAT.
The second was totally research and recommendations!
The third has been the apps process! I must say that it has been a great experience as of now. Hopeful that it will be fruitful and that will probably make all the difference between a wide smile and a weak one!
Stern! here I come!

Loved NYC any which way! It was an amazing experience that I had there! Sad that it had to last for a short duration!

But hey, that is in the past! for now, have to click on the submit! that is onething that does not psyche me! hehehe!

Firm

There was a doubt in the mind!
No doubts there!
But the doubts have been cleared!
Ive seen others with a variety of values!
have stuck mine to 5!
They are there at the side of your screens!

Yet to apply to NYU Stern! The rest are in awaiting information from them state! :)

Scary thoughts

the friend of mine who egged me, motivated me and counselled me throughout the GMAT and application process has now put me in an interesting quandry!
He asked about all the schools that I am applying to. Promptly, I replied with the 5 names... he was probably in his sleep. He asked me which my lowest and bare minimum one was amongst them! I told him!

He was shocked! He was shocked that my bare minimum way above what most people aim for. He was sceptical that if things dont go as hoped and planned (god! oh god! please let me go as per hope and plan this one time! please!), I stood to lose one year.

He already knows that I have my eyes set on only the best of the best and only those that help me get closer to my dream!
Some consider that stupid! Some consider that dumb! Some consider that daredevil!
No one that I can think of actually believes that it is a sensible idea. Deep down they all think that I am plain dumb and living in an utopian world and dreaming only about the best without any sense of reality.

I do not blame them for considering me to be dumb or stupid. May be I am. I am in search of my dream! And I am not ready to compromise. I am not ready to have the second best. I am not ready to settle for anything less than what I consider to be the bare minimum possible.

I know that the road is tough ahead and there are likely to be pot-holes, blind turns, dark alleys and U-turns. But I am ready to tackle all of that!

The one thing that I am NOT ready to tackle is the inner voice which will never let me live in peace. It will question why I decided to cave in and swim with the tide! And I will have no answer for that question. For deep within, even I would know that I would be taking the wrong decision by giving in.

I have waited for a long time for this!
And as much as I want it right away, I am not ready to settle for the consolation prize.
It is a classic gamble strategy! Double or nothing!

And while the downside is that I have to wait another year!
The upside is that I am not lying to myself!

I like the upside! I will take it!

NYU Stern remains

four done and one to go!
NYU Stern now remains.
Not because of any order or preference that has been followed.
It has been a simple logic!

It is the only one with a 15th Jan deadline.
which means that I still have a few days to review and make changes if any!

Which means that my friends are in for another round of versioned and tagged documents! :)
I wonder why is it that I am the only one who would be shouting yippee!!!

hehehe!

chicago done

Churning them out is the right phrase for what I am doing these days!
Churning applications out by the day!
Actually churning applications out by the night!

Had one last night... Columbia
Had one tonight... Chicago

Only NYU Stern no remains!

4 done and 1 to go...
the pressure of applying will ease...
the pressure of acceptance will rise...
the pressure of rejection will rise...

god! please give me the strenght to handle the acceptances well!
Thank you god!

And thanks to all those people who have helped me in my endeavors.
I may not be able to repay them, but I hope that I can be of use someday!

Columbia done

It may be a weird time of the day (???)
But no time is a bad time to submit an application!

Submitted Columbia today!
3 done and 2 to go!

To repeat...
We don't give up at half-time!
You dont score until you score!

Yippee!

Duracell

Sometimes the process reminds me of duracell!
It just goes on and on and on...

For the love of the Holy Mother of God!
When will this end?

And it better end on a happy note!
I do not wish to fall back on my backup plan! I definitely do NOT!

And that is why I egg myself on!
Go on and on...

Just a few more days i tell myself...just a few more days...

Abyss

Time passes by...
Essays pass by...
reviews happen
archives happen
but the process does not seem to end.
The process...that does not seem to end.

Its an abyss...it just wont end!
But we hold in there, hope, dreams and resilience

We dont quit at half time!
You dont score till you score!

My Schools

Everyone has their hit-list. I too have one.
In alphabetical order:

Chicago - GSB
Columbia Business School
Harvard Business School
NYU L.Stern School
Wharton UPenn

Let us see where the List leads me!

One step

With one small step, i start this tryst with destiny.
The tryst with an MBA.

Applications are in full swing!