Strike two

Strike one… Wharton… strike two… Chicago! I shudder to consider what would happen at strike three!
With the denial from Wharton, my backup plans were put into action. The groundwork was done and the action plan was firmed up with concrete actions. However, deep within, I was always hoping that I will not need the backup plan.

The Chicago reject came as a major shock for me. Wharton, being an old boy school, was expected to be tough. It was the dream school that one applies to, has hope and is willing to slog it out for it. But, Chicago is a more down to earth school. It doesn’t have that aura around it. Yet, it is a Highly ranked school. In fact, in some of the ratings, it is rated as the numero uno. A lot of that is related to the fact that the school has an highly adaptable curriculum taught by one of the most renowned faculty. The student can adapt the curriculum to suit his/her needs.

Despite all of this, I expected that this was one school that was comparatively easy for me. I know this may sound naïve. However, I am not calling it my safe school. For, I had no school that could be branded unless my father was on the board of one of the schools! J A brief glance at the schools will show that the schools are within the top ten and the best in my field of innate interest: finance.

What I meant was that Chicago was comparatively an easier picking compared to a few of the others that I had in mind. That was a perception that I had at the start of the application at least. As the application progressed and I did more extensive research, I realized that it was not as easy as it appeared to be. Yet, I thought that I had put in a good application that was in line with what I believed was a winning application.

But, alas! That was not meant to be. What probably hurt the most was the manner in which the communication came across. A revisit to the Wharton rejection: there was a mail saying that unfortunately, they could not accommodate me for the batch of 2009. They talked about how they had a lot of applicants and that they had to unfortunately reject quite a few and that it was not a reflection on the person or on his/her abilities. While, the words still meant that a dream was shattered, it did it in a nice manner and with a sincere attempt to soften the blow. I believe that they realized that have probably crushed a dream. As much as they are not responsible for this (the application package was not good enough), they seem to find it their moral responsibility to break it as nicely as possible.

In this perspective, Chicago turned out to be a start opposite. I had a mail to check my status on the Chicago home. Apprehensive that I was, I logged on. My hands were shivering as I keyed in the username and password. Wharton had been a big blow. Even though I was positive and expecting things to work out, it was not difficult to be psyched out.

The look on my face probably told a story. The owner of the cyber café where I was logged on had come to become a good friend. He asked what the matter was. I told him that it was a matter of life and death for me. He didn’t seem to understand. He asked whether it was an interview. I replied ‘kinda’. And he went, ‘Hey! An interview is not a matter of life and death… You win some, you lose some… got to move on buddy…’ If only the poor ignoramus knew for how long I had been waiting for this and how much this meant for me.

Ignoring social and family commitments at time, I had bull-headedly attempted to achieve the dream that I have been pursuing since the year 2003. A lot of water has flowed below the Tower Bridge since then. The dream has also undergone a sea of change. But the crux of the dream continues to remain the same. At the end of the day, the same Nfyniti Solutions that was in my mind in the 2003 drives me to this crazy attempt in 2007. It sounds crazy to an oblivious bystander. It sounds crazy to somebody who may not care to look closely, maybe crazy for someone who cares to as well. Nevertheless, for those who do know and understand me, it is something that has become synonymous with me. Something that I have lived, dreamt, slept, ate, and drank. Waiting patiently for my opportunity to come, yet attempting to push open the door if there is even an iota of chance that seems available. A lot of people have walked the path with me. Some have given up, some taken what they thought the best for them while some of the others have chosen to wait for a while.

I chose to keep trying. The bar kept going higher. However, I believe that I have now reached the point where the bar cannot probably go all that higher. Which is precisely the reason that this is important for me. A lot of things have been kept on hold to pursue this single dream. A dream that I am unlikely to give up that easily, even if it means that I have to doggedly attempt again.

Yet, the positive that I am, I was hoping that 2007 it would be. Speaking in numerology, it’s the year of the 9. I have never believed in numerology. But it is difficult to ignore the obviously overwhelming presence of the number 9 in various facets of my life.

It’s been two down and three to go. As mother puts it plainly, ‘Have the patience my boy! Things will work out!’ As much my heart wants to echo her thoughts, its tough. Yet we wait… wait patiently for glory to come our way. For we have done what we could. The only thing that is left now is for me to wait and watch, pray and pray some more.

The wait continues… :)

Reality

Reality check...
Ding at The ONE! Four to go! What on earth do I do now?
You knew it was the toughest... it had to be. For it was the best that you could hope, aim and attempt for. For there was no better. They dont make them any better.

With one down and four others to go, I am suddenly aware of the ground realities.
The ground reality that there is a teeny weeny chance of not striking gold in the first attempt.Yes, there are four more. That counts to a remainder of 90% positivity (10% is always the minimum default, come what may).

I have always contemplated what I would do in case there is a situation in which I am stuck with 10% positivity. Yes... it is a posibility... and I HAVE(being what I am...) to cover all the possible corners. The four visible corners... and the fifth one that I need to keep track of in order to not fall onto my face with scars with an inability to get up to save my life. The fifth corner is the backup plan.

The 'I will do this when everything else fails...' plan that has to be there. Within minutes of the despair of the ding, I was thinking...long and hard.
There are two visible options available. The first one was offered to me. It was a total change of profile. Opinion however is divided on whether it is a step in the positive direction or not. The official reason was that it was something that they (the bosses) believe that I will be good at (modesty aside, no doubts here...), be someplace where my interests lie (not bulls-eye, but pretty close...) and something which will be good for my growth and my career (the real grey area...). An area of interest without doubt. However, it is not exactly there. It is like wishing to move from the country-side to stay downtown and having to settle for the suburbs. But, the option is the best that is currently there on offer. Probably something that I believe that I should do. Something that quite a few people believe that I should do. Nevertheless, a few clarifications have to be sought.

But the thing that I am gunning for...the one that I am rooting, hoping and praying for... is something that is very much out of the box. It hasn't been done at my office before... and is something that will be a huge victory in more ways than one. Without getting into the details, I can say that it is something that will have a lot of people giving me mean looks... looks because I have managed to achieve the seemingly impossible. Something that most thought was not possible. I am not aware if there are others in the race. What I do know is that I am a very serious contender.

I spoke a friend with whom I share a symbiotic relationship of a mentor and a guide. Even before I had asked about my chances, my friend said that I was a STRONG contender. There was so much emphasis on these words that even I was taken by surprise. The discussion helped me firm up my opinion and boost my confidence. The words were very encouraging...I double checked with my contacts within the firm for the opportunities that were available...so that i was prepared with my homework when I had an opportunity to place the pitch. It also helped me double check my ideas and get a perspective.

I had a discussion with the powers that be. Discussed both the options available and strongly hinted on what was there on my mind. The thing that I really wanted. All this without spoiling my chances with the lesser favored option. The response was on expected lines. Since it was a first, it was met with skepticism. Nevertheless, it was not disregarded right away. I pride myself with the ability to read between the lines... and sometimes read outside as well. There was a positive response. A response that it COULD be possible. At the same time, the accepted rules of engagement were discussed. It was stated that it was not the accepted path... yet the idea and the thoughts behind it were appreciated. I read the person to be genuine.

It is now upto me to take this to the next level. The powers that be have a lot of things on their mind. And in that process, an idea... a seemingly difficult approach need not be on the top of their mind. The onus is now on me.

The path ahead is going to be turbulent. I foresee that. I don't fear that. For, no uncharted territory is a piece of cake. It is not meant to be. The lesser frequent paths are the ones that are the tough ones. And that is what makes it all the more challenging... All the more appealing. The easy things in life do not have the charm.

An oft repeated line to end: It's easy to swim with the tide... it is that much more difficult to swim against it... And it is this swim that is more rewarding and satiating.

I know I may not need all or any of this. There is no need to be freaked out based on one ding. But, the point is that I dont like surprises in life... atleast not the unpleasant ones!

So...here I am... On the road again!