To be or not to be

An oft asked question. A rarely given answer

For starters, the real [and only true] question that you need to ask yourself as you get out of Atria mall and take a cab down to Worli Seaface and walk by as the water hits the walls is... Why do you want to pursue an MBA?

* Is it only because the world does it?
* Is it only because you want to see what else is there to offer?
* Is it only because you want to move away from where you are?
* Is it only because you want to be independent and away from home?
* Is it only because you could live in NY?
* Is it only because you want to make shitloads of money?
* Is it only because you want to be successful in life?

If you answer in the affirmative to any of the questions other than the last, you probably want to re-assess why you want to pursue an mba and the self doubt is well-placed. If you affirm to the final question though, you are probably on the right track.

The MBA today has become [unfortunately] a fashionable thing to do. It is like colouring ones hair [ I swear i couldnt get a better analogy and this isnt aimed at anyone in particular ] or getting the latest phone. People pursue it because everyone else does it. People go to some random school to pursue it, if they have to. It is a rat race and they think they are missing something if they don't run that race as well. They don't know why they are running. They have no freaking clue. All they know is that they need to run.

Another reason is because people are generally escapist [I do not judge, it is perfectly fine to want something that is out there that one wants and cannot get to] and want to run away from what they are currently doing. One major reason for the plethora of engineers/IT guys after that MBA dream is that they don't like what they do and see this as an avenue to escape. This is a fair reason, a good reason. But I am sure there are other ways to do what they want to do. Also, the world after an MBA is not some super rosy place where there are no assholes, back-stabbers and super-achievers. On the contrary, it may be far worse sometimes.

Inertia is a bad thing. It makes things difficult to start moving. Things are easy the way they are and most people like to keep them that way. Then, there are others for whom change needs to be constant. For some, that change never came. They have lived where they have [albeit a few geographic changes] all their lives. Life has been sheltered and they haven't seen the world outside. They yearn to break the proverbial shackles, to travel to lands unseen and to live life as they want to. Life at their pace, where they are in charge of their destiny. They love their parents to death. Yet, they desire to experience life as a lone stranger who walks down Marine Drive, assimilating the wonders and experiences of life. They want to shave their head bald, to colour their hair blonde, to wear those plunging necklines and to live-in with their girl. And yet, not have to deal with the frown of daddy and mummy dearest.

Someone liked the city so much, they decided to name it twice. Hence, it is New York, New York. The Greenwich Village, Central Park, Wall Street, Broadway, Chelsea, TriBeCa and the Washington Square Park are places they want to be and visit. Friends was their favorite show and they like all things American. They speak with the American slur, believe that colour should be color and not the other way around. The Lion King, Phantom Of the Opera and other shows on Broadway are on the top ten things on the list of things to do. Wouldn't they kill to get that elusive American visa, land on the chimerical soil and live that elusive dream? Touted to be the best city in the world, a reputation one believes that it lives up to. A good reason to try to land at JFK or EWR and believe that they have Truly Arrived!

Green is good, green is fashionable. A few extra thousand to spare, those elusive Jimmy Choo stilettos, that Brooks Brothers tailored single button suit, the Roger Vivier tag in the closet, the Bulgari dress watch, the Hermes and Ferragamo ties, the Lexus Sedan and that annual trip to the Alps. The life in the dreams, one that you always wanted, but was very much out of reach. So out of reach that you didn't even know anyone who had even one item in the list. You could have been the person that told Dawar Seth in Deewar, 'Main aaj bhi phenke huey paise nahin uthata'. You wanted to be there since a kid and would put in whatever effort it would take.

You have a dream. You want to make it big. You have an interest. You want to pursue that interest. You don't work for charity, and yet money is not the only thing that drives your career ambitions. You have things to prove to yourself. You want to chart new territories. Have a great life along the way. Meet great people, have awesome experiences while you do so. Rise up fast and yet know what you are doing. Be the star that people talk about, yet have your feet on the ground. In short, be something. There are many ways to get there. An MBA is merely one of them.

Some of us are brilliant. We become the Bill Gates of the world. Some of us are gifted, we become the Richard Bransons of the world. Some of us pursue a dream, we become the Jyotiraditya Scindyas of the world. Some of us have the vision, we become the Laxmi Mittals of the world. The others try to get to where these people are. They try to pursue utopia. Some succeed, some don't. They do because they are what they are. Not only because they did what they did.

There are many ways to the top of the pyramid. Some paths are easy, others are hard. Some paths need luck, others need a fairy godmother standing by. The MBA is not a sure shot to success. It merely offers a ladder. The biggest lesson in business school is not taught in class. It is in the experience. One learns from the situations, one learns from their peers and most importantly one learns from themselves. As one chugs through the two years, one learns things that cannot be learnt from reading text or watching videos. One learns from experiences. If these experiences come in a multi-ethnic setting in the midst of minds that think much differently from your own, they are worth all the more. Living in India, studying in India prepares us to a particular mindset. An education in a different setting teaches us things we would never have imagined or been exposed to.

You research on schools, you write LONG applications. You edit and re-edit. You take exams after a long hiatus. You beg and plead people for recommendations. You beg and plead people to review your essays. You study day and night for the GMAT. You miss the neon lights, the whiff of white wine and the adrenaline rush of dancing to Punjabi MC. You apply. You pray. You interview. You beg and plead. And finally you get in where you want to. It seems like a lot of work. It seems like it's hardly any fun. It hardly is. But at the end of the day, the sweet pleasure of two years that were the best you ever had... more than makes up for it.

I think that coming to the US to study is the best investment you can make in yourself. It is fun that I cannot explain. You have to study, it can be strenous. But you won't hear people complain about it, other than a random bitching. Secure job in one of the MNCs is great. But I am sure you want and can do better. Manager position is good. The question is: what next? An MBA gives you the tools and the pedigree to succeed. Not only at the job you have, but also the one when you need to switch. i believe that the math changes a lot.

That said, the MBA pours you the drink. It doesn't sip it for you.

It is most definitely and certainly worth leaving and coming. the funds are probably the single most difficult reason. The thing is that it can be totally funded on loans. If you have someone in the US you know well who can cosign your loan, you can get the entire education funded on loan. Else, you can fund it with a mix of educational loan in India and the US [no co-signer required]. It is not the most lavish of life, especially after not thinking twice before spending the money. But it can be managed. Dad may have to be your guarantor, which I am sure he will, if you call him daddy dearest from now on until the fateful day.The exposure is enormous. The ROI depends solely on what you want to do with your life. I think its an investment. A very good investment in yourself. Sometimes, its obvious right from the word go. Other times, its more intangible.

The proverbial ball is in your court. The question is, what do you want to do with it?

Option Valuation

Overheard between two MBA students [A and B] as they discuss another MBA student [C].

A: We had basically been discussing the new year eve parties
and i was telling C he should value it like an option
B: You said youu wanted help with option valuation!
A: The potential for an encounter is subject to much volatility
B: Okay, I can understand the analogy.
A: We wanted your expertise in option valuation to value the price of the party
A: Obviously the strike price is the ticket
B: Okay
A: The time frame is known. The woman's response is the volatility factor which we are having difficulty assigning value to. Bernanke has also helped by lowering interest rates to zero.
B:: Women are empirically known to be more volitile than the market. You have to take the volatility to be atleat 50%. If C can choose between the party and the chick, it has to be valued as a chooser! The best of both outcomes. Else if is buying the ticket, and can seek a refund then it is a put option.
A: One will lead to the other. Where is the chooser in it? If he doesn't got to the party, where will he meet the woman
B: I thought that he can go to a party with us or take a chick for a date
A: No, he is talking about going to a party and finding a girl there.
B: Then, it has to be valued as a compound call option. Event 2 is dependent on event 1. If he comes to the party, then there is a probability that he finds a chick. The key is in choosing the right party.
A: I guess that for him time also will be inversely proportional if he finds the girl at 6 AM, she may decide to go to breakfast rather than for some other 'activity'.
B: Yes, it seems to be a very complex option depending on whom he finds there. You can raise this question to (Aswath) Damodaran for real options. Anyway, from what i can see, we are busy valuing the option and C is busy with the chicks.
A: Yes, that is true. He seems to have disappeared.
B: I will catch up with you later.
A: Cool. Later.

Using knowledge Effectively

Over the past one year, I have learnt a lot at business school. As a Finance and Accounting major, obviously those aspects of the business. Besides that, I have also learnt a lot about Business Strategy, Marketing and Operations. However, that knowledge is useless, unless you know how to use it effectively. Here is an account of the one chance that I got to use this information for personal gain.

I needed to transfer cash from my home country. I have an education loan that takes care of living expenses and I replenish it periodically depending on my own needs. Close to more than a month back, I saw that my funds were dipping low and I needed to get some more money. I also saw that the exchange rate to the dollar was much higher than it was in recent memory.

The US dollar has been appreciating since the FED rates have been dropping in this country [the US]. This has also been accentuated in a way by the increase in interest rates by the central bank in my own country as it attempts to fight the rising levels of inflation in the country. Inflation there is currently higher than it has been in recent memory, a classic case of the workings of supply and demand. The demand for food and foodgrains has increased, and has not been met with corresponding supply in recent times. A drop in supply, combined with astute [and illegal] black marketeering by business(wo)men have ensured that inflation is significantly high.

Then there is the effect of oil prices. Oil has ensured that the local inflation rate in my country has gone higher. This also indirectly affects other prices as it shoots up transportation costs at all levels of the marketplace. Oil prices has also ensured that the demand for the US dollar is higher and that has appreciated the dollar even further, making it more expensive to buy.

When I thought about asking for money, I astutely [in my belief] thought that this was a bubble waiting to burst. Oil prices were at unsustainable levels. With the winter arriving, there was no way that the US could afford to go into a oil-guzzling-heater weather at such expensive levels. There had to be a decrease. Also, with the price of gasoline at such high levels, demand had predictably dropped as people moved to restricting its usage. Ford and GM, promoters of the guzzlers in the US reported huge drops in demand for their SUVs and vans as the US general public moved to cleaner, greener cars.

The OPEC also noticed a sudden drop in the demand for oil. This was accompanied by loud rhetoric to explore and exploit alternative sources of energy which would reduce the dependence on oil, bring prices down and be more environmentally friendly. Suddenly you had Barack H. Obama, John McCain and even Paris Hilton commenting on their green policies. You saw legendary investor T. Boone Pickens coming out with the PickensPlan with a strong focus on wind energy as the source of the future.

Having followed companies in the alternative energy industry space myself, I saw the importance and relevance of solar, wind and other alternative energy companies. The OPEC saw it too. They saw this as a potential drop in the demand of their mainstay product. This warranted even Hugo Chavez, the Venezualian premier who has been trying hook, nail and sinker to ensure higher prices of oil, to comment that oil prices were not sustainable at these levels.

As you must have guessed, I predicted with fair certainty that oil prices were almost certainly going to drop. Levels were not real and then had to get to a sense of normalcy. Midway through the time that elapsed, economists at major investment banks and financial gurus began to chant this mantra as well. I followed USO, an ETF on the American Stock Exchange [AMEX:USO] very closely and found it to be behaving as previously predicted.

I was of the belief that if oil dropped as was predicted [and corroborated by the gurus], this would reduce the demand for the US Dollar. This would also drop the inflation rates in my country [to some extent, this could be lagging or stuck in govt. bureaucracy]. The net effect would be a depreciation of the US dollar to my own local currency and that would buy me more dollars for the same amount of money.

I held out, not telling my parents the real reason. I also thought that it was unlikely that the dollar would appreciate any more than it currently had. It was unlikely to go any stronger. In a way, I did take a bet; a bet in a situation that I should not have taken one [ as a debt ridden b-school student, you dont want to take one]. Yet, as I saw it, it was better to do this than to leave myself to chance. In a normal situation, I would have taken the prevelant rates and transferred the money without giving it a second thought. Atleast this way, I was better informed that there was a higher likelihood of the prices going lower than going higher.

The bet paid off. I waited until I could no longer hold out and needed the money. After that, I asked for the money to be transferred. A net gain of 400 basis points. Not a lot some would say, but then again, it was something. You really cannot expect to make that much of a bet on such non-volatile instruments in such a short period of time anyway.

I am just happy that the knowledge at business school is helping me think like a real business leader who makes his/her decisions based on the prevelant conditions in the market.

For all those undecided, take the plunge. B-school will be the single best investment that you can make in yourselves [ short of getting married rich :-D ]

C'est la vie!

My fortune reads:
You are soon going to change your present line of work



I find that interesting given that I am going to interview tomorrow for a function that I am not particularly keen on doing. Yet, it is something that I have gotten myself into.

I didnt apply. They called me and asked me if I would be interested. I told them where my interests lay. They were persuasive. They said they didnt mind being my second option. I said... 'What the hell!'

I have been running around to ask people to consider me. And here I was in a situation where people were calling me and asking me if I could come along. That even after I told them what was on my mind.

I didn't apply and yet they invited me for an interview. I was surprised. So were a lot of other people. I didn't have much of an interest and that was obvious given my lack of interest in the whole profile and the firm. A firm that is a great firm in its field of expertise. A field that a lot of people are dying to get into. Good for them. That is what they want. That is not what I want. It is not a bad field. It is infact a great career to have. It is just that it is not a career that I wish for myself.

I have long believed in doing what my heart tells me. I go by what my instincts say. And my instincts tell me that I should pursue what I am currently pursuing. The road looks tough and there are a lot of obstacles in the path. But that is okay. It is what interests me and it is what I want to do. It is what I want to see myself doing. Why do you ask? Interesting question. A fair one too.

I have never worked in the field before. As much as I have tried to understand and learn about the field, the fact remains that I have not worked in it. Hence, it is not likely that I truly and fully know what it is all about. Yet, it is in a field that is an area of interest. It involves a challenge that is hard to pass. It is a challenge that few other profiles can offer. I dont know any other profile that comes nearly as close. It will give me great exposure and access. Tangile results that make the news... for the right reasons.

But first and foremost, it offers a challenge. A challenge to work in an environment where you start with knowing nothing and learning everything there is to know. And I am not talking about a lifetime. I am talking about one task. It is the challenge of learning, understanding and performing in such an environment. The power and ability to make a difference in such a manner that few people can imagine, being twenty something guys.

The money is there too. It is obvious and I won't deny it. But, I will add that I don't do things that are necessarily for the money. Ofcourse, nobody works for charity and I am not nobody. But, I also do not work for the money. It is a criterion, but it is not the criterion for me. Satisfaction is more important for me. At the end of the day, I need to know and understand that what I am doing is something that is important, critical and I am making one hell of a difference to what I am doing.

And yet, destiny chooses to play hide-n-seek. It offers things that I don't want and denies things that I don't have and want badly. C'est la vie!

I just hope that the fortune that I mentioned does not come true. I hope that I get where I want to be... I dont mind the pitfalls and the hardships (before or after).

Third Time Lucky?

The wait started long back. It suffered a few setbacks (two to be precise). Hope was not lost. Backup plans put in place. Frantic attempts made to firm them up. This may have included calls with people at weird (read 0300 IST) hours of the night, discussions with people on a jet lag and visiting people at their homes to firm up the options and discuss the future as a whole. Overdrive was what was needed and that is what happened. Deep within, the prayers continued for the third one to be a homerun. For I wanted to know what fourth base (no pun intended) felt like.

Having waited for what felt like an eternity, it can be extremely frustrating at times to be so near and yet so far. Although I am of the belief that I had winner applications (as did most if not all of the people who reviewed them for me), the news from PA and IL made me think otherwise. Guess that it was the case of good but not good enough.

Finally, it was time. It was time for the do-or-die situation. After two strikes, it was important to see the light of day. It was important not to merely see the stars, far away in the sky, out of reach and blinking at me mischievously. They mocked me that they were merely in sight and not in reach. Things were getting a bit tense. Obviously, it was not a situation that I appreciated. Alas, I found myself in one. I had to make the choice: I could wilt under the pressure and fail. I could stand strong and fight it back. I wanted to fight back. That seemed like the logical (and obvious) thing to do. However, after having fought for the last few years, I found myself wilting. The knees were wobbly and I was petrified that I would cave. I was not sure that I could hold on for much longer. I consoled myself for being in the state that I found myself. In my defense, I could not blame myself for it. I was human too. I too was prone to assuming and accepting defeat long before it had raised its ugly hood and painted the town black.

The pitcher took his place. It would not have been difficult to mistake him for a three-headed fire-spewing evil dragon. Looking around at the other bases, he had one final look at the striker, and took what felt like ages before he pitched the ball. The scene had all the makings of a Hindi potboiler. The journey of the ball from the hands of the pitcher until it reached the striker was as vividly captured as the journey of a bullet after it has been fired and before it is to come within striking distance of the victim.

Each of the previous deliveries had been different. UPenn - Wharton was a long letter from the dean of the school expressing his sincere regret. Chicago was short and curt with a single word: deny. This particular response had come within an e-mail. My fingers were shivering… again. The co-efficient of the shivering is directly proportional to the rejects that one has received and is inversely proportional to the interviews/admits that one has on his/her plate. It is also proportional to the amount of effort that has gone into it, the time in years for which the plan has brewed, and the desperation with which it is wanted. Expectedly, my hands were indeed shivering very badly. I carefully picked the laptop from my lap and placed it circumspectly on the desk. Such was the level of the shivering that I was scared that I might drop it to the ground. I am not kidding here. It was late into the night and I was understandably petrified. For a second, I almost did not have the guts to see it. I wanted to leave it for another day. Yet, I knew that I had to face the demons and stare them in the eye. Believe me, it is a whole of words. It was easier said than done.

From the subject line and from the name of the sender, I realized that it was a response from NYU Stern. This one school was different; it was different in a pleasantly beautiful way. They spoke of the NYU community and the benefits of NYC. I saw all of them (the benefits) and more. That was the reasons that this was one of the schools that I was looking to make home.

Like I have mentioned before, I had applied to a grand total of five princely schools. Each of the schools were such that I would not think twice before accepting an offer from the school. The only problem in the decision-making process would arise if and when there would be more than a single admit and it would be up to me to decide on the then future course of action. Going by the current statistics, I would be more than overjoyed with having an opportunity to go at all! Let alone the option of having to choose from more than one.

Now, what the email had was a link to a URL on the NYU Stern website. I started my prayers. I have never been a devout person, but at this time, I could have done with whatever help I would get, divine or otherwise. In a frame of mind that was hopeful for the best, yet resigned to fate and ready for the worst, I went about finding out the details of the result. I logged into the site and went about figuring out how I could get the result.

I reached the final step. Involuntarily and subconsciously, I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. If there was ever a good task I had done, I was calling the IOUs. With a heavy sigh, I clicked the link. I waited anxiously for the page to load. Slowly and steady, I began reading each and every word of what the email had to say.

Dear Max:

There has been an update to the status of your application to the NYU Stern MBA program. To view the current status of your application, please visit the Application Status Check Website at http://applicant.stern.nyu.edu/statuscheck/
As a reminder, your password is ******.

Thank you for your continued interest in Stern,

NYU Stern MBA Admissions

My heart skipped a beat and more as I read the line that I had been short-listed for the And then, I was dancing like there was no tomorrow!!! I had made it to the next phase! I had been short-listed! I was going to the interview! I suddenly felt a vacuum in my heart as I realized what happened. I had been invited to an interview! There was a chance. I was another step closer towards the ultimate dream! For a whole minute or so, I did not know what had hit me. I didn’t realize that I had indeed made it to the next level.

I guess that it took a while for the entire feeling to sink in. It took a while to realize that this is what I wanted. I was not there. But I was getting there. And that was good enough. It was a matter of time is what I was telling myself. It was merely a matter of time.

Until date, I have never screwed up at an interview. I have had the distinction of having returned victorious from every interview that I have attended. I have not attended a whole lot many of them. Nevertheless, I have attended pretty many for the MBA admission process, the IIM and the AIM interviews. I have also attended a couple of job interviews and I have not had to attend more than that as that is also the number of jobs that I have had.

The point of the matter is that I have successfully cleared the first hurdle. The next hurdle is in sight and it is obviously a challenge. But I am up to it. The third response was a positive one. It gives me hope and a future. It has started well. It is just a matter of time before I realize whether the third time was indeed lucky!

Freedom

The sweet sense of freedom!
The freedom to get back to normal!

It all started in the month of May! Yeah May!
I was in the US of A visiting the wonderful city of New York! God Bless the Big Apple!
Suddenly, in a moment, I decided that I wanted to do my MBA in America.
Until then, I too was chasing the CAT dream!
I belled the CAT, got the IIM (Indian Institute of Management)! But, alas! I did not get the IIM of my choice!

Dogged that I am, I decided that I will play hard! Winner or none! I decided to re-appear.

But fate had other plans for me.
Back from the US, I started perparing in the month of July! Studied, answered tests, studied and answered tests again! That was the routine for a few days!
Days became nights and nights became days as the preparation was in full swing.

A few days before the D-Day, I took stock of the situation. At 690, I wasnt going anywhere! Definitely to the schools that I sought! I decided to buckle up! Its easy to pressurize yourselves when you know how badly you want it!

Social life was reduced to a minimum! Poor friends of my bore with my idiosyncracies, changing their schedules and accomodating me so that we could spend time together!

The day was great! The Quant section went well and I had no problems there! I was left with less time at the end though and I had to HURRY!!!
Verbal was turning out to bit of a tougher cookie to crack! All went well... never before score of 750!

Applications meant research, research meant time and time meant incommunicado Max!
The essays had to turn right! Some of them went to SO MUCH of revision that I cannot believe the number of versions that I am left with!

At the end of the entire process! I am DONE! Relieved and a weak smile on my face!
I guess that I can have a good nights sleep and rest in peace for a few days!

Things to do
-- Get life back in order
-- Meet friends
-- Party like there is no tomorrow
-- Go trekking
-- Run the Mumbai Marathon
-- Clean the house
-- Continue Jogging 8 rounds
-- Party more
-- Travel
-- Read
-- Blog
-- Live Life
-- Work (Yeah!)
-- Get pending things done!!!


Enjoy the moment and live the glory!

Scary thoughts

the friend of mine who egged me, motivated me and counselled me throughout the GMAT and application process has now put me in an interesting quandry!
He asked about all the schools that I am applying to. Promptly, I replied with the 5 names... he was probably in his sleep. He asked me which my lowest and bare minimum one was amongst them! I told him!

He was shocked! He was shocked that my bare minimum way above what most people aim for. He was sceptical that if things dont go as hoped and planned (god! oh god! please let me go as per hope and plan this one time! please!), I stood to lose one year.

He already knows that I have my eyes set on only the best of the best and only those that help me get closer to my dream!
Some consider that stupid! Some consider that dumb! Some consider that daredevil!
No one that I can think of actually believes that it is a sensible idea. Deep down they all think that I am plain dumb and living in an utopian world and dreaming only about the best without any sense of reality.

I do not blame them for considering me to be dumb or stupid. May be I am. I am in search of my dream! And I am not ready to compromise. I am not ready to have the second best. I am not ready to settle for anything less than what I consider to be the bare minimum possible.

I know that the road is tough ahead and there are likely to be pot-holes, blind turns, dark alleys and U-turns. But I am ready to tackle all of that!

The one thing that I am NOT ready to tackle is the inner voice which will never let me live in peace. It will question why I decided to cave in and swim with the tide! And I will have no answer for that question. For deep within, even I would know that I would be taking the wrong decision by giving in.

I have waited for a long time for this!
And as much as I want it right away, I am not ready to settle for the consolation prize.
It is a classic gamble strategy! Double or nothing!

And while the downside is that I have to wait another year!
The upside is that I am not lying to myself!

I like the upside! I will take it!